How to handle baby blues and postpartum disorders
With local resources and a self-care checklist!
The vast majority of parents — moms and dads alike — will go through the “baby blues,” a period of sadness after a new baby arrives. Some will face more severe conditions called postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). Fortunately, CNY has healthcare resources that can dramatically improve your postpartum experience.
About 85% of parents get the baby blues. They feel unhappy or frustrated for a couple of weeks, and then they get better without specialized treatment. Parents with a PMAD have more severe symptoms that can interfere with everyday life. PMADs last for several months or years and affect about 10% of dads and 20% of moms. If left untreated, the impact can be serious.
Insight From Local Experts
“As a community we need to normalize the situation,” said Christine Kowaleski, psychiatric nurse practitioner at Crouse Health and co-chair of the New York chapter of Postpartum Support International (PSI).
Even though baby blues and PMADs are common, the moments of guilt, fear, and tears don’t always get shared. Society expects joy when welcoming a baby, so it’s tough to admit that you’re having a hard time. But honesty is the first step towards recovery.
“The sooner one reaches out for help the better,” Kowaleski said. “Proper treatment can mitigate these symptoms so parents can move on to enjoy this postpartum time.”
Specialists like Kowaleski know how to effectively treat the overwhelming feelings and crushing thoughts that come with a PMAD.
“There is nothing I have not heard,” Kowaleski said, “They are safe to share all of their thoughts. Thoughts are just that: thoughts. But a new mom could be horrified at what she is thinking; the fact that she is uncomfortable with her thoughts is really a positive. It means she is not aligned with those thoughts and more than likely she has a [PMAD] that we can easily treat.”
Help For The Whole Family
The postpartum transition can also affect the mental health of partners, caregivers, and older siblings. As awareness of this has increased, providers have expanded their screening process and programs.
“We see parents, we see grandparents, it really can affect the whole family,” said Kathleen Miller-Murphy, Director of Women’s Health Integration at Crouse Health and co-chair of the New York chapter of PSI.
Crouse provides perinatal services for 14 counties across CNY. Digital mental health interventions have made follow-up care more accessible regardless of geography. Crouse offers one-on-one online therapy and virtual support groups in addition to their in-person formats.
“Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting together with a group that’s going through similar things,” said Miller-Murphy. “We do journaling and there are craft nights... Sometimes moms who are depressed say, ‘I just want to feel like a normal mom,’ so it’s kind of an outlet for them to do that and build their village.”
In addition to these local options, PSI has about 50 support groups that are tailored to fit individual needs and preferences. There are groups specifically for black moms, moms with ADHD, NICU parents, queer and trans parents, dads, parents with one- to four- year-old children, and military moms.
Self-care is a critical part of recovery, and these programs offer parents a chance to focus on their own needs.
“We see parents, we see grandparents, it really can affect the whole family. ”
Figuring Out What Works
Parents tend to give all their attention to their newborn, making it easy to neglect their own health in the process. Before the baby arrives, families might consider: How can we have 5-hour stretches of sleep? What’s the best way to get easy, healthy meals? Who will help when we need a break?
Advance planning can smooth your family’s transition, but remember that flexibility is key. If something like breastfeeding doesn’t go as expected, it’s okay to try a different approach. Postpartum experiences are unpredictable, and what works for one family might not work for another. With patience and persistence, you’ll find your rhythm.
“The biggest challenge is expectation,” Kowaleski said. “Talk to other moms and dads honestly. Join our free support groups, there is always peace in knowing you are not alone. Call us.”
Crouse Hospital
Free Virtual Support Groups
Crouse offers two support groups via Zoom. Anyone can participate for free; you do not need to be a Crouse Hospital patient. Sit and listen or talk through your feelings with a group who understands.
One-on-One Therapy
Crouse has psychiatric nurse practitioners on staff who specialize in treating postpartum mood and anxiety disorders.
Childbirth Education Series
Crouse offers in-person classes that cover postpartum topics like breastfeeding and baby care. You can take the classes individually or sign up for the full childbirth series. Current prices for two attendees range from $25 for one session to $110 for all five sessions.
More Info: https://www.crouse.org/services/maternity/familysupport/
SUNY Upstate
Live Classes
SUNY Upstate has free in-person classes and you do not need to be a patient to sign up. Several classes focus on postpartum:
The Fourth Trimester Class: Get tips on physical and emotional wellness in the first months of parenthood.
Prenatal Breastfeeding: Develop your feeding plan.
Postpartum Breastfeeding: Prepare to return to work or school with tips on pumping, storage, supplies, and self-care.
My New Sibling: Children ages 2-10 can attend with a caregiver to prepare for the arrival of a newborn.
On-Demand Classes
SUNY Upstate offers self-paced online classes, currently listed for $50 each. Family-oriented options include Understanding Fatherhood, Understanding Grandparenting, and Sibling Preparation.
Informal Social Support Sessions
Two informal gatherings are free and led by certified nurses. Baby & Me Café focuses on baby care, and the Breastfeeding Café offers conversation and information about lactation. All are welcome to attend online or in-person.
More Info: https://www.upstate.edu/birthcenter/best-beginnings.php
St. Joseph’s Health
Self-paced courses are listed on the St. Joseph’s website including The 4th Trimester/Postpartum, Baby Care, Baby Safety, and Breastfeeding Basics.
More Info: https://www.sjhsyr.org/services/womens-health/maternity-care/
Doula Support
A postpartum doula specializes in assisting a mom after her baby arrives. There are several providers in our area.
Here are the postpartum services offered by The CNY Doula Connection:
Caring for the infant while you rest
Assisting with lactation support
Helping with infant sleep
Belly binding to facilitate quick recovery
Folding washed infant laundry
Washing bottles and pump parts
Meals from a professional postpartum chef
Placenta encapsulation
More Info: https://www.cnydoulaconnection.com/postpartum-care.html
Postpartum Self-Care Checklist
Line up helpers
Make arrangements for getting a 5-hour stretch of sleep
Keep blood sugar balanced with healthy meals and four protein snacks daily
Walk outside every day if you can, even if it’s only to the mailbox
Pick a trusted person who you can be completely honest with
Communicate your needs to friends and family members (or ask a trusted person to help share your needs)
Talk to other moms and dads honestly
Pick a support group to join
Attend gatherings with other parents, including 315MOM meetups!
Ask a medical provider for help if you or your partner are:
Overwhelmed
Having difficulty completing tasks
Foggy or your mind feels clouded
Feeling robotic
Experiencing increased anxiety
Less interested in things you used to enjoy
Relying on alcohol or other substances for relief
Feeling guilty
Worried that you can’t take care of yourself or your baby
Unable to sleep even when there’s opportunity to do so
Having scary and unwanted thoughts
Not feeling like yourself
If at any point you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, immediately seek help from your partner or loved ones in taking care of your baby. Call 911 or a local emergency assistance number.